September 17, 2004
The Original Version:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....
The New Versions:
Pessimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.
Optimist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she doesn't come back within some time limit,
forget her.
Patient:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she
comes back...
Playful:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
*If she comes back, and if you love her still, set
her free again,
repeat*
Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment
of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
Bill Gates:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees
and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
Schwarzenegger's Fan:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over Possessive:
If you love somebody
don't set her free.
HR Specialist:
If you love somebody
set her free...
By offering her VRS and other benefits
then outsource her.
Psychologist:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant;
If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme;
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, it's a nightmare;
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
Finance Expert:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans;
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Expert:
If you love somebody
set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty;
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.
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