February 17, 2005
she is so near... yet i am so far..
yes.
I AM SO FAR.
i wonder what cant i say?
maybe its just my cowardly me..
shouting NO
today lots of thing gone wrong...
it must be my period.
i got moodswings too.
u just did those things at the wrong time.
i was trying to find some personal space,
some self comfort.
and i am trying hard to make myself smile..
with all those stupid comics..
but i just it didnt help..
sometimes i ask.. WHY ME?
and a voice comes back to me...
WHY NOT?
all i wanted was a simple poly life..
and when i leave.. no one is gonna think of me..
cuz if they do.. but it will never happen.
even so... just.. dont.
i dun wan anyone to know what happen to me..
its hard to keep a secret that mustnt be told..
isnt that a much simple wish?
when can it come true?
its not about who i love..
its not about those confusions..
its not about friendship...
its not about those confessions..
its not about those dates..
and its not about anyone else..
its just about a cowardly me
who cant face
the truth
the fact
the fate
the pain
the past
the wounds
so if one day i disappear...
dun ask..
it was meant to be..
its just a matter of time...
i got too many things left undone..
and i guess there is no time left for you
even if u r my no.1
i skip the sequence and went ahead of other things.
sometimes i ask.. WHY ME?
and a voice comes back to me
SORRY. ITS YOU.
this is so demoralising.
LIFE SUCKS.
ME TOO.
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